{"id":1593,"date":"2026-05-12T14:17:43","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T14:17:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/?p=1593"},"modified":"2026-05-12T14:17:43","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T14:17:43","slug":"5-ridiculous-old-school-theories-about-the-universe-that-people-still-believe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/2026\/05\/12\/5-ridiculous-old-school-theories-about-the-universe-that-people-still-believe\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ridiculous Old-School Theories About the Universe That People Still Believe"},"content":{"rendered":"

Before telescopes, satellites, or basic common sense, ancient philosophers and astronomers were just guessing \u2013 and boy, did they guess wrong. From cosmic scarab beetles to a universe made of water, our ancestors came up with some truly laughable explanations for the stars above. We’ve dug up five of the funniest, most baffling “scientific” theories about the universe that actual educated people once believed. Grab a drink and prepare to feel very, very smart.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Space Is a Fiery, Cosmic Egg<\/span><\/h2>\n

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According to ancient Egyptian and Greek creation myths, the universe started as a giant, flaming egg floating in infinite nothingness. At some point, this cosmic egg either cracked open or hatched \u2013 depending on which drunk philosopher you asked \u2013 and all the stars, planets, and your annoying neighbor spilled out. So basically, we’re all living inside the gooey yolk of a divine omelet. Bon app\u00e9tit.<\/span><\/p>\n

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A Scarab Beetle Rolls the Earth Through the Watery Sky<\/span><\/h2>\n

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The ancient Egyptians noticed that scarab beetles roll balls of dung across the sand. Naturally, they concluded that a giant, cosmic scarab beetle rolls the Earth across the endless ocean of the sky every single day. That’s right \u2013 your morning sunrise was caused by a heavenly dung beetle pushing our planet like a giant poop ball. Makes you appreciate modern astronomy, doesn’t it?<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Constellations That Produce Earthly Effects<\/span><\/h2>\n

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Before astrology got fancy, people genuinely believed that constellations physically caused things to happen on Earth \u2013 not just “influenced your personality” but actually made crops grow, wars start, and your cow give sour milk. Some Greek thinkers argued that Orion’s belt somehow controlled the Nile River floods, while others blamed a bad harvest on a grumpy-looking star cluster. Imagine blaming your flat tire on a dot of light a million light-years away. Absolute gold.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Earth Is an Island in the Watery Universe<\/span><\/h2>\n

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Many ancient cultures, including the Babylonians and early Hindus, believed that Earth was just a flat island floating in an endless cosmic ocean. Above you was the sky-dome; below you was infinite water held back by\u2026 well, nobody really explained that part. Rain was just holes in the sky-dome leaking. Rivers flowed because they were trying to go home to the big ocean. And nobody ever asked what was holding up the ocean. Classic.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Cosmos Is Surrounded by a Vast Void<\/span><\/h2>\n

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Even the Greeks, who were usually pretty sharp, came up with this gem: they said the universe is a finite, orderly bubble of stars and planets, and outside that bubble is literally nothing \u2013 no space, no time, no darkness, just absolute void. But here’s the funny part \u2013 they couldn’t decide if the void was empty or filled with “cosmic breath.” Either way, they believed if you somehow reached the edge and stuck your hand out, your fingers would just\u2026 stop existing. Very scientific.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before telescopes, satellites, or basic common sense, ancient philosophers and astronomers were just guessing \u2013 and boy, did they guess wrong. From cosmic scarab beetles to a universe made of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1594,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-exclusives","category-photo-vault","category-weird-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1593","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1593"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1600,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1593\/revisions\/1600"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1594"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleamgrid.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}